Red flags are warning signs in relationships. Red flag signs are like a traffic light in the intimacy journey and it says; ‘Hey yo! Get up and move on’. Most times, especially we ladies, we provide excuses by ourselves just to ignore the red flags and we deliberately become colour blind so that we do not see the red flag. Curious about the world after Covid-19, CLICK HERE.
This can be sometimes annoying and frustrating. We want to match clothes, go on trips, have a partner who we can trust and love and make ‘God when’ videos to pepper our single sisters or brothers and beefers but when we do not see these things happening, we begin to wonder where we got it wrong when all along red flags have been flying about.
10 Red Flag Signs
1. Don’t call me after 10pm
Why won’t you call me after 10pm if we are dating? What am I trying to hide? If your partner does not want you calling late, then what’s the reason? What if you had an emergency? You can’t call your partner in the middle of the night? That’s wrong on all levels. Be suspicious.
2. Well, I am not sorry
If you are always apologizing when shit happens even when it is not your fault, and he or she does not see it as a duty to also apologize when he or she is wrong then it has happened. A hit and run car has hit the relationship. You just don’t know yet, ’cause it’s a silent accident, however, it’s one of those red flag signs.
3. All about themselves
How can I be dating someone who is not interested in what I want to do with my life? What I am doing with my life. How I want to go about bettering my life? If your partner only talks about him or herself and how he or she is going to make those millions and get the luxuries of life. And if they always talk about businesses he or she will be dabbling in without concern about your life.
Also, if they keep talking only about their strategy on moving up the social ladder without even asking you, ‘What about you? What are your plans? What’s the next thing you want to do?’ Then something is wrong. It could be that you are not even in the picture, you are nothing but a listening ear or a release pot. Pay attention to this on the list of red flag signs.
4. Testing your boundaries
How can I tell my partner ‘NO’ and he will still insist especially knowing I have a good reason for saying ‘no’? The man or woman who loves you will never force you to do anything that you do not want to do. For example: During intercourse, if you are not an anal fan yet he tries to force himself into your ass no matter how much you struggle and tell him no, that person is out to hurt you at that moment. Now imagine he does this frequently.
You tell her, you don’t want to party but yet she forces you to attend, especially giving you ultimatums, then something is wrong for real. Start looking for more signs. Open your eyes ’cause it might be that this person you call your partner does not give two shits if you are happy and well.
5. No affectionate touching
While you are out or in a public place, you can not touch your partner in peace. He or she will not allow you to hug him or her, or plant a quick kiss. They will not even put their arms around you, kiss on your forehead or chin, hold hands, and so on. However, inside the other room, he or she tells you, ‘I will fvck you till you drop’ and every other BS, then it’s all just BS. This might seem unnoticeable but its really a core part of the red flags signs.
6. Shouting in public
Why would you shout at me in public? Embarrass me like that? Lose your cool in front of the crowd? Do it often and think I will stay. I will not! Nobody likes embarrassment. Whatever I might have done, if it can’t wait till we get home or somewhere private before you bring it up then it’s not right.
Shouting at your partner in public is wrong on so many different levels. It tells the world the kind of person you are and the kind of person your partner is. Especially, when he or she remains there, trying to apologize and calm you. Partners, do not do that. Walk away when it becomes frequent because he or she won’t stop.
7. I am busy
This busy song is even very rampant. Everyone is busy. Yet, you are entitled to your partner’s call or text every day. No matter what. Please, do not be deceived about how he or she doesn’t like calling or texting. If your partner genuinely loves you, efforts will be made.
A one-minute call from the love of your life can enhance anybody’s mood for the rest of the day. It shows they are thoughtful and ready to make an effort. If he or she is too busy to communicate with you consistently and properly, then your masquerade is on the express and it has to be careful.
8. My Ex was a fool, not me
Never will you hear me badmouth my Ex. He might have had some bad sticks, yes, but I won’t go around painting him bad, especially to a current partner. Anyone you are dating that always takes time out to deface their previous lover is giving you hints on how you will be treated if things do not work out now. Don’t be blind and join him or her in badmouthing someone you don’t even know.
9. Price tag and criticism
Anybody that immediately flare-up over the prices of material things he or she bought for you which you refused to wear or spoilt, that person, as referred to in the famous 3 Idiots movie is a ‘Pricetag’. A Pricetag will constantly remind you how much he or she spent so you could look that good.
Someone that criticize everything you do is not for you. Run! You don’t know how to do anything well. They don’t even see good in you. Always complaining about almost everything you are doing. Do not wait till it hits you on the face. You are meant to be with someone who appreciates you and helps you to grow. Not someone who condemns you at every point. Run!
10. Skipping the talks
Why will we have issues and instead of thrashing the whole thing out as soon as we can, we skip it and use s3x or any other thing to cover it up? There are so many women who have been imagining things in their head due to what they’ve seen their men do or how he acts and they are not talking. They keep it all in and skip the talk. If we had an agreement and you broke it, we need to talk about it. Let’s talk about how you didn’t hold up your end of the stick and why. Talk it out. Stop skipping.
There are other red flags signs. We have tons of them. Maybe, I could write more on another piece. The most important thing, however, is; the only reason why someone will treat you this way or that way is simply that you allowed them to. Do not make excuses for someone who messes up all the time. That’s one of the red flag signs.
Do not allow someone to take you away from your family and friends, what will you have left when he or she is gone? Think about it. When he or she is jittery around you or always hiding cell phones or stuff, be suspicious. Open your eyes. Love is not blind at all. Getting hurt should not be an option and as it once said, ‘Crying once and for all is better than crying daily.’ Get out now!!!